Blustering private eye: Bumblewick

Blustering private eye, overconfident yet comically bumbling

Prompt: Masculine, middle-aged human. A retired investigator with a boisterous, gravelly, and slightly unrefined texture. Transitions between overconfident bravado and sudden, comical confusion. Rapid-fire delivery when excited, slowing to a lazy, slightly slurred drawl when relaxed. High emotional range: from loud, performative authority to genuine, bumbling frustration.

Script: Everybody remain calm, I've solved the whole rotten affair... except for one tiny detail. Why is the duchess's necklace in my coat pocket, and who switched my drink with cold coffee?