Storytime creator: Tessa

Storytime creator, wide-eyed, expressive, and had-to-be-there

Prompt: A wide-eyed, expressive female voice that tells jaw-dropping personal stories with total commitment. Her bright mid-register bounces with disbelief at her own life, speeding up as the situation spirals, gasping the twists, then flattening into stunned deadpan for the worst part. There's animated, you-had-to-be-there energy in her tone. The sound of a friend across the table going 'no wait, it gets so much worse' as you lean in, already invested.

Script: So, I show up to the first date, right? And he's there. Cute, normal, great. And then, his mom sits down at the table on our date. I thought she was leaving. She was not leaving. She ordered an appetizer and then, I swear on my life, she asked me my five-year plan on a first date.