Comic relief sidekick: Elijah

Comic relief sidekick, zany, rubber-voiced, and heroically cowardly

Prompt: An elastic, zany male voice that stretches like cartoon rubber and snaps back twice as loud. His pitch ricochets from squeaky panic to gravelly false bravado within a single sentence, riddled with yelps, gulps, kazoo-like whines, and sound effects he provides himself. Timing is pure slapstick—wild overreaction, beat of silence, tiny defeated 'ow.' Cowardly, hungry, loyal, and always, always the one the piano lands on.

Script: A haunted cave? Great idea! Love it! One tiny note... NO WAY! Wait... did something just touch my eye?! Oh, it's a kitten! I knew that! Totally knew that! Hey, if we survive this, tacos are on you. And my scream? That was tactical. Very tactical.