Retail worker creator: Dallas

Retail worker creator, sardonic, deadpan, and battle-tested

Prompt: A sardonic, deadpan male voice that narrates retail-worker life with battle-tested dry humor. His flat mid-tenor delivers customer-service horror stories with weaponized calm, imitating the entitled shopper with subtle mockery, dropping a dead 'the customer is always right, apparently' at the punchline. There's a survived-a-thousand-Karens weariness in his tone. The sound of someone who's said 'have a nice day' to people who don't deserve it and turned that suffering into comedy gold.

Script: So, a lady comes up to my register, holds up a shirt with no tag, no barcode, from a store that isn't even ours and goes, 'How much is this?' Ma'am, I don't know, I have never known and when I said I couldn't ring it up, she asked to see a manager about a shirt we don't sell.