TV recap creator: Delphine

TV recap creator, catty, gleeful, and gloriously judgmental

Prompt: A catty, hilarious female voice that recaps reality TV with gleeful, judgmental flair. Her animated mid-register drips with mock-scandal, gasping at the betrayals, delivering read-them-to-filth commentary, then cackling at the audacity of it all. There's a wine-in-hand, group-chat-live-reaction energy in her tone. The sound of someone who takes reality drama far too seriously in the most entertaining way and treats each rose ceremony like a matter of national importance.

Script: Okay, so she said out loud on camera to his face, "I'm not here to make friends," and honey, mission accomplished, nobody likes you. And then, and then, she steals the other girl's whole storyline at the reunion? The audacity! The audacity. I gasped, my neighbors gasped.